How to protect your marriage

by Dina Mohamed Basiony

One of the most striking and most alarming hadiths that draw our attention to a major problem we may not be paying attention to is the following. Please read it carefully:

Jabir reported that Allah’s Messenger SAW said:

“Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” The Satan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” A’mash said: He then embraces him.” [Sahih Muslim]
So to Iblis (Satan/Shaytan/the accursed devil) there is an ultimate goal considered most beloved and pleasing to him. This is: breaking up between a husband and wife and creating disagreements between them.

We find this manifested in many cases. Sometimes a husband won’t stand listening to his wife, he’ll even find her sound annoying and keeps thinking about her complaining all the time, and how she doesn’t appreciate him and how she isn’t feminine enough and and and… so he starts despising her and losing his temper with her.
You may also find a wife that keeps thinking about how annoying her husband’s habits are, how disrespectful it is for him to leave those dishes at the sink …every.single.time! How he doesn’t listen to her attentively when she speaks, how he isn’t like her friend’s husband who is a noble prince (in her imagination only, but he probably also leaves the dishes at the sink), how her husband is not like that dreamy actor from the movie and and and…. so she starts despising him and losing her temper with him.

You’ll find many stories like this. Many couples getting on each other’s nerves and suspicions arising between them…

A small and almost insignificant issue could blast a major fight and disagreement between couples that last for days or even months.

The problem is, many of our brothers and sisters are unaware that:

a) these are all from the works and tactics of Iblis and his followers.

b) Iblis and his followers will surely attempt to create this disagreement between married couples.

Why is Allah allowing this? To test us. Because we are here to be tested. Success is not through having perfectly smooth marriage with no problems at all. Success is when couples learn how to discipline themselves, have patience, get over their egos and masterfully compromise for the sake of peace and mercy and tranquility in their hearts and their lives. And Allah will test who will follow His guidance and who will follow the whispers of Iblis.