Allah’s Messenger (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Keep away from ill-thinking, because ill-thinking is the greatest falsehood.” [Sahih Bukhari]
A person thinks of others as they are themselves. A man was on his way to the Masjid to pray Tahajjud when he saw a man coming from the direction of the Masjid. He thought, “Oh, that pious man beat me to Tahajjud. I must have missed the prayer!” The other man was not returning from the Masjid but was actually a robber on his way to rob a house. When he saw the man going to the Masjid he thought, “Look at that smart aleck robber returning from the house that I planned to rob!”
Evil deeds start with evil thoughts. For example, when you first mistrust your spouse, then you invite yourself and others to provide you with reasons. Once you’ve “proved” it to yourself, your behaviour towards him/her reflects your low opinion, and negatively influences their behaviour towards you. Your ill-thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can only fight with someone if you have first come to the conclusion that the person has wronged you.
When you want to love someone, you must not think about the negative aspects of their personality but focus on the positive ones. Think about and list all their qualities and you will realize that they are not as bad as you initially thought. Bear in mind that there is no end to finding fault with a person, regardless of who it is.
Whether you prefer to look at the colour, shape, or fragrance of the rose or instead focus on the sharpness of the thorns, is a matter of your own choice. Think positive thoughts and see how this affects your relationships.